Coach Janky Spanky

Vick
12 to 18 months? Geeze, I'm totally fucked. I had everything...multimillion dollar contract...


Rookie
...53.8% lifetime passing herpes completion record...



Vick
...tons of Nike gear worn by millions of adoring fans...



Rookie
...lifetime supply of Valtrex...



Vick
...and having the skills to elecrtify...



Rookie
...and electrocute...



Vick
...everyone on and off the field. Is there anyone out there stupider than me right now?


Gore
HAI GUYS!!!!



Vick
...



Rookie
...



Vick
...



Gore
Coach seyd ta do sprints, so i called AT&T and changed my lawng disstence servis!


Vick
Hey Frank, how are you?



Gore
HAI GUYS!!!!!!



Vick
Here Frank, have a piece of candy.
/overthrows candy past Gore


Alge
/runs in from another room and snags the candy



Gore
Woa, ware did yoo come frum Alge?



Alge
Oh, I live here. Mike chains me downstairs and throws 5 yard bullet passes to me so I can get some exclusive practice. He tried it with Finneran, but Brian broke his own leg with that ESPY award over there.

Gore
/loses interest
LOOK A SQWIRREL!!!!!!!
/points and jumps up and down with glee at the squirrel

Rookie
Geeze, what the fuck is wrong with him?



Vick
/whispers to Rookie
Oh, he's just special, but we don't talk about it in front of him.


Gore
/grabs at the window trying to get through to the squirrel



Rookie
Does he....does he have someone who cares for him?



Vick
Ya, Alex Smith takes care of him during training camps and the rest of the season.


Alex
/walks in
Hey guys, thanks for looking after Frank while I was at Jazzersize class.


Alge
No problem Alex, we gave him a bottle of benadryl and he slept most of the day.


Alex
Hey Frank, look what I got!!!
/holds out football


Gore
/points and jumps after the football



Alex
Alright Frank, time to go home!
/hands football to Frank and leaves


Gore
/runs 794 miles home in 42 seconds



Rookie
WHAT THE FUCK!?!??!



Vick
Ya, he's a fucking machine.



Alge
Fuckin special olympics machine.



Lawyer
/walks in
Michael, it's time to go.


Vick
Shit, ok. Alge, I want you to have this while I'm gone.
/holds out compartment bottle


Alge
Um, thanks Mike.



Vick
/throws bottle 150mph at Alge standing four feet away



Alge
/is killed instantly



Vick
..........



Laywer
.........



Rookie
.........



Vick
Fuck!!! Can we just bury him in the yard or something??



Lawyer and Rookie



/in unison: "That's our Michael!!!"
/recorded sitcom laughter plays



Vick
/winks and smiles at everyone
Ain't I a rascal?