Coach Janky Spanky

O-LINES are the Secret of Monkey Island. This took 2 hours Brandon, I will stab you if you don't like it.

Arizona Cardinals (CAP FUCKED)
Bryant Johnson WR (UFA)

Atlanta Falcons
Morten Andersen K (UFA- Old, not resigned)
Alge Crumpler TE (Released)
Warrick Dunn RB (Released)
Joey Harrington QB (Set free to frame and injure another QB)
Byron Leftwich QB (Released- Shot behind Barn)
Michael Turner RB (YEAH, SCREW YOU NORWOOD OWNERS!)

Baltimore Ravens
Mike Anderson RB (Released)
Musa Smith RB (UFA)

Buffalo Bills
Peerless Price WR (UFA- Fired into the core of the sun)
Anthony Thomas RB (Released)

Carolina Panthers
David Carr QB (UFA- Died via Linebacker)
Drew Carter WR (UFA- Is on really a WR if one does not receive?)
Keary Colbert WR (UFA- SEE ABOVE COMMENT)
DeShaun Foster RB (UFA- Well apparently signing people who's name starts with C sucked.)
Muhsin Muhammad WR (Taps Island, plays: Ancestral Recall)
Mike Wahle OG (Released)

Chicago Bears
Bernard Berrian WR (UFA- Ran away to a different type of shitty QB)
Marty Booker WR (Somehow managed to upgrade QBS!)
Brian Griese QB (Traded- Sent to QB stockpile yard)
Fred Miller OT (This actually makes them less shitty somehow)
Muhsin Muhammad WR (Released- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE)

Cincinnati Bengals

Cleveland Browns
Donte' Stallworth WR (Javon Walker got WHAT?)

Dallas Cowboys
Julius Jones RB (UFA)

Denver Broncos
Keary Colbert WR (Idiots, you sign replaceable RB's not WR. SHANNAHANNNNNNNN *Shakes Fist*)
Jason Elam K (UFA- OLD)
Javon Walker Crazy Person (Released- DENVER, THE LAST DINOSAUR. HE'S MY FRIEND, AND A WHOLE LOT MORE)

Detroit Lions
Tantum Bell RB (UFA)
T.J. Duckett RB (UFA- Uhm, you guys might need a running back)

Green Bay Packers
Bubba Franks TE (UFA- Donald Lee owners rejoice!)
BRETT FAVRE QB (YOUNG QB'S LOVE THE SHIT OUTTA TE'S DONALD FUCKING LEE)
Vernand Morency RB (UFA-Bleh)

Houston Texans
Ron Dayne RB (UFA- NO MORE PLEASE)
Jeb Putzier TE (Released)

Indianapolis Colts
Aaron Moorehead WR (UFA- Only included because his name is Moorehead. Poor Craphonso Thorpe will be all alone with a stupid name on the team without him)
Jake Scott OG (UFA- Am a a system gaurd, or good?)

Jacksonville Jaguars
Cleo Lemon QB (OH SHIT, THE DIVISION IS YOURS NOW!)
Jerry Porter WR (THIS FIXES ALL OUR PROBLEMS!)
Ernest Wilford WR (UFA- Clutchy McClutcherson leaves)
Maurice Williams OT (UFA- WHO?)
Troy Williamson WR (Trade- More Psyduck Wideouts)

Kansas City Chiefs
Eddie Kennison WR (Released)
Samie Parker WR (UFA- Uh ohs)
Kyle Turley OT (UFA- ROID RAGE)

Miami Dolphins
Marty Booker WR (Released- Ted Ginn is the fucking #1. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?)
Jesse Chatman RB (UFA)
Trent Green QB (Released)
Cleo Lemon QB (UFA- Squished)
Josh McCown QB (Yeah, this is totally gonna help)
L.J. Shelton OT (Released- Well that didn't work out)
Justin Smiley OG (5YR 25M)
Ernest Wilford WR (Uhm, this and Ginn?)

Minnesota Vikings
Bernard Berrian WR (Best Vikings WR, lol.)
Maurice Hicks WR/KR (Returning kicks only, lost in a haze of depth charts)
Mewelde Moore RB (UFA-Missed his mommy)
Tony Richardson FB (UFA- Purple Jesus cannot be harmed by not having a fullback you silly bitch)
Troy Williamson WR (Trade- So that's 3 years of Williamson, 2 years of N. Harris, and a 6th round 2008 pick for Randy Moss. AWESOME-TASTIC)

New England Patriots
Kyle Brady TE (Released- OH GOD NOT A BLOCKING TE)
Ruben Brown WR (UFA- I suppose there is a joke here. Whatever)
Donte' Stallworth WR (Released- OUCH MY HAMSTRING)

New Orleans Saints
Jeff Faine OC (UFA- Went to a place with more hurricanes)
Eric Johnson TE (UFA)
Olindo Mare K (Released due to AIDS)

New York Giants
Derrick Ward RB (UFA)

New York Jets
Alan Faneca OG (5YR 40M)
Justin McCareins WR (Released)
Tony Richardson FB (SEEMS TO ME, THERE ARE SOME BLOCKERS HERE)
Damien Woody OG/T (5YR 25M)

Oakland Raiders
Daunte Culpepper QB (UFA- What's the level below Raiders?)
Kwame Harris RT (The Raiders have just paid the NFL an extra million dollars to cover the cost of replacement flags when the run out due to excessive holding calls)
Josh McCown QB (UFA)
Jerry Porter WR (UFA- Got the fuck out of Dodge)
Javon Walker WR (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK)

Philadelphia Eagles
Reno Mahe RB/KR (UFA- Enjoy your not fumbled punts)

Pittsburgh Steelers
Alan Faneca OG (UFA- Filled with rage, holding, ran away)
Mewelde Moore RB (I guess 3rd down back)
Max Starks OT (UFA- Making this line worse sounds like cold fusion)
Nate Washington WR (RFA- Hello injury WR team)

San Diego Chargers
Michael Turner RB (UFA- Welcome to Chargers get a 3rd round comp pick in 2009 land)

San Francisco 49ers
Larry Anderson G (UFA- Probably Retired)
Isaac Bruce WR (Wat?)
DeShaun Foster RB (Uhm...)
Kwame Harris JERK (GO AWAY)
Maurice Hicks RB/KR (UFA-Ahw flibbity)
Justin Smiley OG (UFA- Fair thee well)

Seattle Seahawks
Josh Brown K (UFA- Ran away)
T.J. Duckett RB (Vulture ahoy)
D.J. Hackett WR (UFA- ENJOY YOUR ENGRAM)
Marcus Pollard TE (UFA)
Jeb Putzier TE (WELL, WELL, WELL, MR. CRAZY TE PASSING SYSTEM)
Josh Scobey RB (UFA)
Mike Wahle OG (5YR 20M)
Floyd Womack OG (UFA)

St. Louis Rams
Jacob Bell LG (6YR 36M)
Josh Brown (DOME)
Isaac Bruce WR (UFA-You kids and your loud music)
Gus Frerotte QB (UFA- Scott Linehan abandons his pet dog)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Jeff Faine OC/G (6YR 36M)
Brian Griese QB (Trade- So it's like: Garcia, Griese, Simms, McCown, Gradkowski, Plummer)
Michael Pittman RB (UFA- It's like the Drew Bledsoe of running backs. Who else will you lose your job to?)

Tennessee Titans
Jacob Bell LG (UFA-Lost to the Rams)
Rob Bironas K (RFA, 8 FUCKING FGS???)
Chris Brown RB (UFA- Did you ever get the feeling that you are unappreciated?)
Alge Crumpler TE (TOO OBVIOUS)
David Givens WR (Vince needs weapons)
Eric Moulds WR (I SENSE NO PATTERN HERE)
Bo Scaife TE (UFA- Vince Young throws to himself now)
Ben Troupe TE (UFA- Serious consideration to the wishbone at this point)

Washington Redskins
Reche Caldwell WR (UFA- Uhm....)
Brandon Lloyd WR
Jason Fabini OG/T (UFA- What)

SUCKER MC'S:
Mike Anderson RB (DENVER JOKE GOES HERE)
Tatum Bell RB (DENVER JOKE GOES HERE)
Chris Brown RB (The stay puft marshmallow man took my job)
YOUR MOTHER RB (Rushed for 1000 Yards in Denver's O Line)
Reche Caldwell WR (EYE SEE)
David Carr QB (Appreciates your stadium's roof more than you)
Drew Carter WR (EXPLODES)
Jesse Chatman RB (Gonna take another year off between gigs again?)
Daunte Culpepper QB (Obvious solution is to wait 3 years for Moss to be a FA again)
Ron Dayne RB (WHY????)
Warrick Dunn RB
Jason Fabini OG/T
Bubba Franks TE (The U is very annoyed)
Gus Frerotte QB (Bang your head *into a wall*)
David Givens WR (Knee goes explode)
Trent Green QB (Scrambled Eggs)
D.J. Hackett WR (Holy shit, something decent on this list)
Joey Harrington QB (TOUCHE LIST, TOUCHE.)
Eric Johnson TE
Bryant Johnson WR (Take a gamble)
Julius Jones RB (This is the best left? *Snorts paint thinner*)
Eddie Kennison WR
Byron Leftwich QB
Brandon Lloyd Rap Artist (Phat mad flow)
Reno Mahe RB/KR (Fumbles)
Justin McCareins WR
Vernand Morency RB
Eric Moulds WR
Samie Parker WR
Michael Pittman RB (BRB Beating wife)
Marcus Pollard TE
Bo Scaife TE
Josh Scobey RB (Scoooooby Doo)
Jake Scott OG (System or skills?)
L.J. Shelton OT (Sign the Fatty)
Musa Smith RB
Max Starks OT (Possibly an Evil Bond villain)
Anthony Thomas RB (BILLS)
Ben Troupe TE
Kyle Turley OT (Don't taze me bro)
Derrick Ward RB (Hello high YPC)
Nate Washington WR
Maurice Williams OT (I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THIS MAN)
Floyd Womack OG (Nicknamed Pork Chop, this totally helps!)