Coach Janky Spanky

New England 0.387 (32)
Buffalo 0.449 (21)
New York Jets 0.457 (18)
Miami 0.465 (17)

Pittsburgh 0.598 (1)
Cleveland 0.547 (11)
Cincinnati 0.547 (11)
Baltimore 0.551 (9)

Indianapolis 0.594 (2)
Jacksonville 0.559 (7)
Tennessee 0.543 (15)
Houston 0.547 (11)

San Diego 0.422 (30)
Denver 0.445 (22)
Oakland 0.453 (19)
Kansas City 0.438 (27)

Dallas 0.547 (11)
New York Giants 0.555 (8)
Washington 0.551 (9)
Philadelphia 0.539 (16)

Green Bay 0.566 (5)
Minnesota 0.590 (3)
Detroit 0.586 (4)
Chicago 0.566 (5)

Tampa Bay 0.445 (22)
Carolina 0.430 (28)
New Orleans 0.422 (30)
Atlanta 0.441 (24)

Seattle 0.441 (24)
Arizona 0.426 (29)
San Francisco 0.441 (24)
St Louis 0.453 (19)

With the sudden surge of the Browns, I was wondering what these figures looked like...

Cleveland Browns-28,502,764
Chicago Bears-22,822,751
Washington Redskins-22,810,616
Minnesota Vikings-21,380,120
Pittsburgh Steelers-20,927,158
Dallas Cowboys-20,776,752
San Francisco 49ers-20,277,553
Cincinnati Bengals-19,905,277
San Diego Chargers-19,867,140
Philadelphia Eagles-19,643,148
Jacksonville Jaguars-19,225,285
Seattle Seahawks-17,935,050
Buffalo Bills-17,899,446
Detroit Lions-17,277,532
Arizona Cardinals-16,931,200
Green Bay Packers-16,809,143
Kansas City Chiefs-16,512,610
Oakland Raiders-16,464,879
Houston Texans-16,093,329
Denver Broncos-15,704,940
St. Louis Rams-15,126,396
Indianapolis Colts-14,944,675
Carolina Panthers-14,851,382
New England Patriots-14,722,757
Atlanta Falcons-14,416,637
New York Giants-14,317,738
Tennessee Titans-13,972,832
New Orleans Saints-13,381,203
Tampa Bay Buccaneers-11,867,451
Baltimore Ravens-11,732,025
New York Jets-11,151,391
Miami Dolphins-8,635,565

Roster Grid
Team QB RB WR TE K DST
BAMFS V Young
D Garrard
J Harrington
J.P. Losman
J Fargas
R Bush
C Benson
M Pittman
D Williams
J Cotchery
S Holmes
P Burress
S Smith
A Gates
B Watson
N Kaeding
D Ravens
D Colts

Chuckys Chargers
T Romo
J Kitna
M Barber
D Foster
M Bennett
K Jones
J Addai
D Rhodes
T Owens
S McDonald
D Mason
V Jackson
C Henry
M Harrison
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
E Johnson
K Brown
D Bills

Delusional Goats
M Bulger
J Garcia
R Johnson
J Chatman
F Taylor
E Graham
S Young
M Jones-Drew
T Henry
L Evans
H Ward
R White
B Edwards
B Engram
D Driver
Donald Lee
S Gostkowski
D Packers

Greyhounds
P Rivers
P Manning
K Watson
L Jordan
M Lynch
W Parker
J Wright
N Davenport
S Moss
D' Stallworth
A Boldin
R Williams
K Curtis
G Olsen
K Winslow
D Akers
D Giants
D Titans

Leroy & The Boyz
M Hasselbeck
E Manning
J Campbell
C Portis
A Green
W McGahee
S Jackson
D Branch
A Randle El
B Berrian
I Hilliard
K Walter
T Holt
V Davis
J Witten
A Vinatieri
D Seahawks
D Patriots

Mo Money
C Palmer
J Cutler
F Gore
J Lewis
B Jackson
J Jones
A Peterson
L Maroney
A Toomer
I Bruce
J Jones
J Galloway
R Moss
C Johnson
J Shockey
J King
M Stover
D Chargers

Rhinos
B Favre
B Roethlisberger
D Anderson
L Tomlinson
L Washington
E James
K Faulk
R Grant
M Muhammad
J Jurevicius
J Porter
J Walker
B Stokley
A Gonzalez
T Gonzalez
H Miller
J Elam
D Steelers

Thugs
K Warner
D McNabb
T Edwards
T Jones
S Alexander
D Ward
D Wynn
M Morris
L White
K Keith
M Colston
L Fitzgerald
R Curry
C Chambers
D Clark
R Gould
D Cowboys
D Raiders

Wiley Coyotes
T Brady
B Griese
D Huard
L Johnson
M Turner
C Taylor
R Williams
B Jacobs
R Brown
D Bowe
M Furrey
M Clayton
A Johnson
G Jennings
T Heap
D Clark
S Graham
D Vikings

Wolf Pack
C Pennington
M Schaub
D Brees
J Norwood
B Westbrook
A Peterson
S Morris
R Wayne
P Crayton
C Johnson
L Coles
W Welker
B Marshall
C Cooley
N Folk
J Wilkins
D Bears
D Texans

From days of long ago, from uncharted regions of the universe, comes a legend.
The legend of Braylon, Defender of the Universe.
A mighty robot, loved by good, feared by evil.
As Braylon's legend grew, peace settled across the galaxy.
On planet Earth, a galaxy alliance was formed.
Together with the good planets of the solar system, they maintained peace throughout the universe.

Until a new horrible menace threatened the galaxy.
Braylon was needed once more.
This is the story of the super force of space explorers, specially trained and sent by the alliance to bring back... Braylon, Defender of the Universe!

Besides this drivel, go get some fucking Braylon.

Fantasy Football today

Look at that Cleveland WR schedule. SWEET MOTHER OF PENIS FUCK GOLLY GE SWELL HOLY SHIT CRAP ON A TOASTER OVEN POPSICLE MARMADUKE SHITBRICKED FUCKNUTTED on a CRACKER.

One can only get so excited about a mock draft on the internet in May. What if you yelled a lot and insisted your opinion was right. Would one jackass remember it?

HEY BRANDON

TEAM A

QB:
Bulger

RBs:
Westbrook
Portis
Ahman Green
Kevin Jones
Ladell betts

WRs:
Fitz
Randy Moss
B. Edwards
Vincent Jackson
Burleson
Givens

TE:
Witten

K:
Vinaterri

D:
Miami Defense

Vikings RB Chester Taylor and DE Erasmus James reportedly got into a fight after Thursday's practice.
James is said to have punched Taylor in the face, causing Chester to hit James with a chair. Coach Brad Childress called a team meeting afterwards, and Taylor showed up with a black eye. James was added to the injury report with a hurt shoulder. Taylor is about 5-11/210 and James is 6-4/260+.

BAH GAWD THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY
*Cue Stone Cold Steve Austin's Music*

Taken down in his bye week in a IHOP parking lot. THE HUMANITY

IT IS TIME. FUCK THE LEINART.

IT IS THE WARNER TIME!! CHAMPIONSHIP! WELCOME BACK 2005!

TWO AIRPLANES HAVE JUST CRASHED INTO DONOVAN MCNABB

WORK SUCKS

Vick
12 to 18 months? Geeze, I'm totally fucked. I had everything...multimillion dollar contract...


Rookie
...53.8% lifetime passing herpes completion record...



Vick
...tons of Nike gear worn by millions of adoring fans...



Rookie
...lifetime supply of Valtrex...



Vick
...and having the skills to elecrtify...



Rookie
...and electrocute...



Vick
...everyone on and off the field. Is there anyone out there stupider than me right now?


Gore
HAI GUYS!!!!



Vick
...



Rookie
...



Vick
...



Gore
Coach seyd ta do sprints, so i called AT&T and changed my lawng disstence servis!


Vick
Hey Frank, how are you?



Gore
HAI GUYS!!!!!!



Vick
Here Frank, have a piece of candy.
/overthrows candy past Gore


Alge
/runs in from another room and snags the candy



Gore
Woa, ware did yoo come frum Alge?



Alge
Oh, I live here. Mike chains me downstairs and throws 5 yard bullet passes to me so I can get some exclusive practice. He tried it with Finneran, but Brian broke his own leg with that ESPY award over there.

Gore
/loses interest
LOOK A SQWIRREL!!!!!!!
/points and jumps up and down with glee at the squirrel

Rookie
Geeze, what the fuck is wrong with him?



Vick
/whispers to Rookie
Oh, he's just special, but we don't talk about it in front of him.


Gore
/grabs at the window trying to get through to the squirrel



Rookie
Does he....does he have someone who cares for him?



Vick
Ya, Alex Smith takes care of him during training camps and the rest of the season.


Alex
/walks in
Hey guys, thanks for looking after Frank while I was at Jazzersize class.


Alge
No problem Alex, we gave him a bottle of benadryl and he slept most of the day.


Alex
Hey Frank, look what I got!!!
/holds out football


Gore
/points and jumps after the football



Alex
Alright Frank, time to go home!
/hands football to Frank and leaves


Gore
/runs 794 miles home in 42 seconds



Rookie
WHAT THE FUCK!?!??!



Vick
Ya, he's a fucking machine.



Alge
Fuckin special olympics machine.



Lawyer
/walks in
Michael, it's time to go.


Vick
Shit, ok. Alge, I want you to have this while I'm gone.
/holds out compartment bottle


Alge
Um, thanks Mike.



Vick
/throws bottle 150mph at Alge standing four feet away



Alge
/is killed instantly



Vick
..........



Laywer
.........



Rookie
.........



Vick
Fuck!!! Can we just bury him in the yard or something??



Lawyer and Rookie



/in unison: "That's our Michael!!!"
/recorded sitcom laughter plays



Vick
/winks and smiles at everyone
Ain't I a rascal?